White Rabbit
by Musicalrain
Summary: A random little fic where Femshep experiences Alice in Wonderland-esque hallucinations during a mission. I have no rights to Mass Effect, I just have fun with it. Please Review!


White Rabbit

_Author's note: Named after the song by Grace Slick. Just Femshep experiencing some hallucinations and such. Happens in ME3. Fake mission invented by myself. I was bored..._

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Shepard had been breathing heavily for sometime. Her team was on a trek through a deciduous-type forest.

"God... Garrus, Tali. Any idea how long until we get to the merc base? I hate... walking!"

Garrus slowed his pace to stand next to her, "What? Don't tell me that mere walking tires the great Commander Shepard?" He joked.

She sighed, too tired to joke back, "Naw. It's all these plants and things.. Seems as though I have to jump over a fallen log every two minutes!"

He looked ahead at the quarian up front, "Tali seems to be doing fine."

Shepard shook her head, "Tali's got that suit. Probably giving her stims or something... Go back on ahead. I'll catch up in a minute."

She paused, and Garrus caught back up with Tali.

After putting her hands on her knees and panting for a few moments, Shepard started to breathe out of her nose again. She was immediately assaulted by an overwhelmingly tantalizing smell. She started to look for the source, and only walked a few paces before she came across the green plant, "Peppermint!"

She bent over and picked a leaf, "Is this _real_ peppermint?"

She brought the leaf close to her nose, "Whoa. It certainty smells like it is..."

Before she could clearly register what she'd done, she popped the leaf into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. She instantly felt energized, and ran to catch up with the rest of her team.

"Wow. Don't I feel better now. Guess I just needed something to perk me up a bit."

Tali tilted her head towards her, "What do you mean, Shepard?"

Shepard blew her breath at her, not realizing she couldn't smell her breath, "Peppermint!" She giggled.

Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, "Are you feeling alright?"

She shoved him, "Better than okay. Mister Gare-bear. Good. Really, really good."

Tali started to giggle. Garrus shot her a look, and she giggled more. "Guess Shepard just needed a little break." Tali checked her omni-tool, "About five minutes out, Commander."

…...

They cornered the group of mercs outside their base, and opened fire. Blood splattered with every hit.

Shepard's eyes were dilated, and she giggled with every kill-shot. As the blood sprayed it created a kaleidoscope of colors, intense and eerily bright in Shepard's eyes.

Tali ducked for cover besides Shepard, who greeted her with, "How come no one ever told me that salarian blood singed with asari glows purple?"

Tali shook her head, "What are you saying, Shepard?"

Shepard didn't respond. The gore and mess from their fight was exploding into an intense visual experience for her. The colors of body parts, flaring biotics, blood splatters, and even the shrill cries echoed in a symphony of colors and shapes. Things blurred and mixed, forming new images and unique experiences. As she shot a salarian merc in the neck, his blood gushed a glowing green and yellow mix, splattering onto a orange vibrating crate while flying through the dusty swirling expanse of open air that hummed with too much color.

When the battle was over, Shepard clutched her side in body shaking laughter.

Garrus started to become concerned, "What's gotten into you Shepard?"

She stopped laughing abruptly and replied, "I'm just a dolphin that's never tasted melted snow. Have you ever had that feeling? It happens to me every single other day."

Garrus' brow plates shifted, and he looked towards Tali, "Spirits. What is wrong with her?"

Tali shook her head, "I don't know Gar –"

"Nothing is wrong with me you giant lighthouse," Shepard interrupted, and then turned towards Garrus, "And you, you giant Jubjub bird! I'll show you!"

She slid and fell flat on her back.

Garrus helped her up, but spoke to Tali, "I'm going to bring her back to the shuttle. Want to do a sweep, and meet me back there?"

Tali nodded, and started to hack a terminal.

…...

As Garrus practically dragged Shepard back through the forest, she kept giggling and muttering incoherent things.

"Do you know why the sword went clave-clack? It's because it was invented in Angus. Betcha didn't know that one, huh? No, no. That's more of a pedagogical question. I think... Hey those rocks are pretty pink, right? Who knew they'd be so hamster-like? Do you think krogan rocks are hamster-like, or are they more regal? Hmm..."

Garrus sighed, "What has happened to you..."

Suddenly she shouted and pulled out of his grasp, "Hey! I hears the smells of that decadent little cherrig pop plant." She ran off, and Garrus chased after her.

He nearly knocked her over, when she suddenly stopped abruptly in front of a small green plant, "This is the pepperminty peppermintness. It's really, really good."

She picked a leaf, and was just about to devour it when Garrus caught her wrist. He pulled the leaf out of her fingertips, lifted her up, and laid her over his shoulder.

She started to shout incoherent things, as Garrus put the little leaf in his ammo pack for safe keeping.

…...

Once on the Normandy, and after Chakwas did a thorough examination of Shepard and the leaf, she announced, "It seems as though this plant produces a hallucinogenic toxin... I think I have just the thing..."

Shortly after, as Shepard started to drift off into a drug-induced slumber, she muttered:

_'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves_

_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:_

_All mimsy were the borogoves,_

_And the mome raths outgrabe._

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_Author's note:_

_That's the last verse in the Jabberwocky poem. Has got to be my favorite poem in all of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. :D_

_P.S. I apologize if this was entirely too random. I blame boredom ;)_


End file.
